^mA Lifetime Journey...^

Happy 2012! VS is BACK! =]

2012-01-02T01:36:00.005+08:00

~Lesson Learnt to face Future. Thanks for everything, Past. Past, you build who I am now. I'm READY!~

*020112, Monday.. Clear Night*

Brand New Year,2012. Well, a great year I had during 2011. Lots of happenings which craved memorable moments that I walked with everyone, anyone. No matter is happy or sad, indeed was a remarkable moment. Looking back, the recent exact 3 months ago, it was The End of one of my life chapter. Exactly 3 months.
However, it's Good & Glad. As I'm not a fool who allow you to fool, play & betray my love & trust. You're indeed a Absolute Fantastic Lover. Undeniable fact. However, deeply glad as its over among You & I as everything is d end when your heart belongs to others & you are the one making the initiative 1st. Magnificent! Every now & then, I will still think that you are so great to be able to ensure both side so DARN well. Fook sai lei!
"Tin Mong Fui Fui", God allow me to know the actual fact of reality reason of the Main Cause of its Off which acknowledge me that every kind of human also will behave such betrayal.

Believe it, that I'm Back. Back on track. Absolutely clear of my route ahead. No more wandering around and losing myself. Crystal clear of my goal. Those heartache & disappointment is all over, fullstop. No more mm xiee tuck, missing or what so ever rubbish. Thankful of how I am now and striving to be much better. I found myself back!^^
Living up all alone aint that bad. Walking path alone brings the another dimension of me,my thoughts. Really good.

2012, New Year Revolution
=>> To dive & drill towards something COMPLETELY DIFFERENT with what I have & how I am now by 31st Dec 2012. *Assuring there's a obvious difference in me*

Love,
Vinns

Lonely Christmas 2011

2011-12-25T22:16:00.004+08:00

251211, Sunday.. Clear night

At this every hour, 2201 Hrs, I'm at 1utama, awaiting for my second movie, Mission Impossible after the Puss in Boots.

On such a special day, wandering around with a single soul. What can I say as I'm fated to be as such. While actually, it's ain't that bad but just pretty empty and there is no one by ur side to share thoughts or a shoulder to be lean on and what so ever. Although had a great night of Christmas Eve celebration, I'm still walking thru. I'm not mighty de, can't be said that to be completely cure just like that. I need to be still to move on! I will and I must!

Greatest news on earth is that guess what... I found that all reasons to set the relationship off is all bullshit and lies. Woww.. The moment I get to know, I'm seriously furious about it. Very yet saluting you as u are so damn great to b able to sail on two boats while able the sail the boats steady and sailed well AT THE VERY SAME TIME FOR 2 months!!!

Why... Why... Why... Why such betrayal happens to me just becoz I dun have sufficient for you??? And this makes you empty and to be filled with others while still on a line??!! After all we went thru, ain't enuf to keep ur heart while I trusted you 101% fully every single moment...

I'm a darn fool.. Really a fool to such expertise like you..

Thankful yet grateful that I know and it ended. You made ur choice... Good Luck..

Vinns

Gray-Scaled Days...

2011-12-10T00:27:00.004+08:00

~Be thankful of their existence in life~

*101211, fri.. rainy night*

Alright, it had been a week since I'm back to Singapore from Msia. Well, what makes a difference, actually is nothing. Whether I'm at SG or MY makes no difference (to you or anyone), that's the main point.

"Vinns, face it! Be realistic and please stay awake at ALL time! Can't you??? "
I often remind myself. Hmm... I know.. I truly know all these facts and the reality but its the heart and feelings is still showering me. Stop... please stop, don't haunt me. I already feel that I'm not myself at all. I really do.
Cause, I'm indeed how I am as per the email I wrote to you 2 years ago in Journey of My Love which I bet that it won't ever rings a bell to you. If you only see this blog, If only you see back the emails.. hmm.. and next action is that you will delete it...
Every single words in it represents exactly how I am. Is Exactly.

Last weekend, going office at 1am till the next day 2pm. Even This whole week was terrible hustle to me as waking up at 8plus am and reach home earliest at 1am plus to 4am. $$$ is hard earned. However, I does not like the environment. Not happy working. Don't ask me why. I don't know. I might not be extremely good but I just have my stands to ensure what is wrong and right.

Busy days help alot in many ways. At least, all I had in mind is to sleep and work only. This is the recent me.
A person who does not think much of the future. Flowing exactly how the water flows without any precaution (Tired of it). Does not hope and not being imaginative (as no one really will know what will happen the next hour; I experienced it_many in sudden occur just like that and impact your life ENTIRELY). Thus, I could be really frank that I have nothing in mind as just passing one day by the other. No goal or destination yet a grey journey. Its not that I give up in life, but its just that I walk without a soul or a motive, it seems to be naturally.

The great lost causes me lost and even lose the entirely ambitious & confident Vinns SYN. However, your existence indeed shapes how I am and coloured my life beautifully+joyfully with memorable moment and now its all gray-scaled.
While, you are enjoying every single bit of your time happiily at this every second, I really do envy you. Envy you that a person who used to love me so much and deep yet an apple of the eye to you, now could let go just like that and enjoying new environment/surroundings. How did you do it? Salute...

At times, I really hope, one fine day, i lost my memory. All memories. All these while, my life is meaningful when your shadow reaches mine. I walked with pride and love. Now, since its gone, I often hope that, it will be gone with my memories,together it disappears and erased, as in all of it since I'm born. At least, I could be a white paper. Start everything again. All over again...I don't mind.

Rising up alone is harsh... darn harsh and tough...painful~
God, please do take me with you if you feel that I'm mentally tortured and suffered enough.
Although, daily seems nothing but deeply in me, heart bleeds. Non-stop silently...

Vinns

Dull Films

2011-11-24T22:30:00.006+08:00

~Just walking on without direction, following how it flows~

*241111, thurs... rainy day*

Actually I wanted to blog my feelings since monday. However, once I'm in front of lappy, my mind was blank. Don't know what to flatter out.

Ever since last weekend, thanks to those shoots, makes my mood shakes for a short moment and till this every second, I could say that my feelings is flat. Dull. One tone ahead. I don't know why. Even, I don't know how to share with my close friends of how I am. No words able to describe myself and the inner me. Thus, I remained calm and steady as I do not know how to picture myself.

Day & night, time passes by. Doing the same old routine. In between, laughter and smiles happen to be seen on my face but it just does not last. Its not that I wana be very particular or keeps on thinking, but it just happen naturally. Seriously, I don't know what I'm thinking too. Memories just flashed in sudden or nothing plays in my mind. Just blank. That's it.

I am missing something very important here. Its the 'sparks'. I Lost it. I am wandering to search it back. However, I'm still not there. Probably, Im still adapting and healing slowly while other people are enjoying life and walking on daily happily with their lovely frens. I'm just a passer by on street to other people. Indeed I am.
Yet I hope that at this mean time, no other soul will appears to fool my feelings. I will easily fall for it & knock on ground again.

Don't do so...
If its true, spare it with sincere and action...

Love,
Vinns

what's in me~

2011-11-17T22:20:00.003+08:00

171111, thurs... Clear night

Since last week till now, I started to enjoy swimming. Working out. All such making me to have some lil desire to walk on daily. At least something healthy huh? I think so... Seriously, I sux in swimming but I just enjoyed the moment I dive in the pool. It feels I'm being covered. Not alone. Well, this is all I desire in my life, having someone to pampered me and showered me with sincere love. That's all. Well, it seems tough to fulfill this. So, lil diving in pool does satisfied me since it's unreachable for now or maybe not at all, anymore.

Previously I remembered that I said I could not find myself back, if you ask me, have I found it now?

I will say, maybe yes... Maybe no.. (at least better than not at all right?) anyway, I still heading to no where as at now. Flowing with time. I never ever dare to dream much of my route, as I planned too much and hoping too much had drown me twice. Phobia and conflict within myself.

And it's going to be the end of the year which suppose to be the best happening time of the year. However, it's seems pretty dull to me. I wished dt I'm not alone during Christmas Eve and New Year Eve.

If only... Hmmm

Lonely,

Vinns

Passing By, Going Through...On my own

2011-11-13T13:59:00.007+08:00

~indeed, only in heart...silently~

131111, sunday..rainy day

To make an effort to write this blog had taken me alot. I traveled from Aljuneid>DhobyGhout>City Hall>Bugis, just look for places to online. Its either the place is packed/no plug/no wireless. Then, by the moment want to leave and I spotted a corner place which where I am now, Starbucks Bugis under the Sun...
over.
Looking back, there's about a month plus that its already over. Yes indeed. I'm all alone. Although I know dt I got alot of friends supporting me, backing me up.. I deeply appreciate it, darlings.
However, my wounded heart has a very very deep scar which is still healing slowly although I tried to keep myself OK & happy in everyone's eyes. I smiled. I laughed. However, if i cry, i will cry alone, wets my pillow silently. I dont wana them to worry about me, and I know that i'm a fool who often daydreaming about nothing.

Frankly, I lost the spark in me. Seriously. I lost my direction. I don't see a point that I'm heading to. Being at SG or MY, I don't see a point. I don't see my value to exist anymore. This is bad. I'm indeed making effort to search it back, because now I'm on my own. Before, I always have someone to uphold me and to walk on with me at all time. No matter what, I have someone to go through with me. Hmm..But now I.. know that I have to accept this. Accepting it. I'm on my own.

Besides, I know that you are doing good now. Glad to hear that. Going through life happily with your frens, which my existence makes no difference in you. Your life is only coloured by them and everyone but just excluding me. Whether I exist anymore also would not even impact you. I wonder.. is it really so? It seems that I'm totally being erased from your heart and mind. Well, probably I'm really not good enuf for you nor not worthy it to accommodate in your heart which others deserve better.

Now and always, you are my greatest friend..my soulmate..
I'm aint sure that I still love you anot (I tried to ignore this as its not important to anyone anymore), all I know is that, I hope you are happy.. everyone is happy...That's enough..

Love,
Vinns

Emo Surroundings conquereD~

2011-10-06T19:04:00.005+08:00

*061011, thurs…thunderstorm*

Once I’m awake, I roll awhile. I made a decision to act you as my diary. Daily, I have to read a eDairy to you to ensure me & you still have ‘muk khai’ and at least I have a space for me to express myself. Thinking back awhile, just awhile… Had a strong thought, I need to walk through this, concentrate well in my work as my boss did appreciate and offers me an opportunity to extend in SG.

Thus, whole day, my work’s momentum was good. Had a great conversation with you, love the way we still can communicate as great friends. Although my heart is still aching yet la g la g, hmmm.. its still under control. Everything was alright, though my mind do appears the special feeling once awhile.

However, I lost. Lost to the God. At late evening, it was raining… Very very heavily, with thunderstorm & lightings..My heart was weak. Paining again. Hmm.. I thought I could rate myself 100% but I lost. Such weather, it reminds me alot alot stuffs. Such a emo surrounding Especially when you told me your weekend plans & staying over, reminds me about our 1^st holiday together.

It was one of our meaningful journeys that we shared together. Flashing bak our every single moment we shared, how we went there, how we waited for room, the snacks & food we brought up, the movies that we watch together and together we share our sweet moments. What exactly we felt, its me & you only…

Sigghhhhhh….Its only all memories, that I flashing all alone by myself…

Wondering that will you ever think of me when you’re there? Will you ever flash the feelings and the moments we had….I bet that you wont even cross your mind cz you already had put everything down…Deeply, Im trying my very best to hide my feelings already..

Cz I know, and deeply very sure that you would NEVER EVER LOVE ME AGAIN…….Tears are in my eyes roling and rolling…hmmm..

Sadly in tears,

Vinns

D Greatest Lost in Life... :(

2011-10-05T20:39:00.006+08:00

How I wish...~

*051011, weds..cloudy day*

Today is Day 3 of Big Loss Tragedy in my life.

Flashing back on Oct 2^nd, 2011.. Another date that going to mark in my life dictionary. Its where you note us off. That night was terrible to me… Unbearable… I truly could not believe that you really is gone as my love…

All I afford to do is cry cry cry then sleep den cry cry cry again.. missing you badly.. i truly cud not belief that i need to walked on without your warmest love... you meant so so so much to me..*heart tears apart*

The next day, my feeling was extremely terrible. Extremely torturing. I could barely smile at all. My eyes are filled with tears every moment. Thus, I made my decision to fly bak straight away from SG to MY, I want get it clear cz ngor zhen hai hao hao hao sanfu… A lot of things playing in my mind…

That night, my zai kissed motor, I nearly walk to wrong route during airport, a lot of things happened.. I was doing everything without my soul. I don’t know what to do and I’m ‘blind’..

Although there’s a decision made among us, however I know that you are not happy at all. Thus, my love is stronger than my will, I respect you and your decision. As I know that, you will be happier such way.

And yesterday, I tried my best to chase back wad is lost, with all efforts.. I glad that you are touched yet you stood very still and mean yet cruel on your decision. I cant afford to get bak your love. As its over and done. I was drunk and deeply in pain… Extremely in pain & burst into downpour tears… I really never tot that I will lose you now. Ngor zhen hai hao hao hao hao mmmm xie tuck nei…. But nth cud change this fact as you are adapting it so fast as it just decided a day ago..

Everything was toooooo late….

You made everything very clear. It was so in sudden when I was acknowledged. You were suffering alone all these while and you BOOM it all in sudden and everything is THE END.

Although now we are just friends, everything is different already. I still feel the huge pain of lost…

I missed you sooooooooo much…
As agreed, you are always my soulmate..May you always still do care and sayng me… I do always need you in my life.. I hope you too...

May our friendship last till eternity since we cant be as FAMILY...

“ Yet still having you by my side is my greatest honour but losing you who loves me dearly is my deepest lost in life…”

Hurt deeply & Tears still Rolling,

Vinns

My Biggie Day, My Convocation^^

2011-10-05T20:30:00.005+08:00

My lifetime beloved roomie+bestie

My great frens that walked journey with me

My PAP Family

Deeply Appreciate & Touched

*270911, tues.. sunny day*

Memorable day indeed as it’s ending of a chapter in my life and there is begins a New Chapter of Life.

Although I always wanted to study Law, its okay.. its just a unreachable dream..
NOW, I’m a BUSINESS GRADUATE o!!!

Study life is always remarkable moments no matter how tough it was. Those exams, presentations, meetings, projects and etc… were difficult yet a enjoyable process.

I bet everyone who step out from University will definitely missed the moment of struggling and indeed happiness with great ferns de!

PAP, which I grew together with throughout my uni life. There is where I met all my besties in life, new frens which are my eternity frens… Brought each other up when anyone of us was down, being there and never walked away!

Thanks for everything single thing and our moments shared together were MAGNIFICENT!!!!

To my lovely juniors, I’m glad we are one family and thanks for everything! Deeply appreciate it!

This convocation had another meaningful reason behind is that, is where everything started and ended.

Hmmm.. every second we walked on was indeed very meaningful……

I miss you…all of you!!!

Take good care, frens!! Keep in touch!!!

Love,

Vinns

'Empty' Home

2011-09-07T21:03:00.005+08:00

*070911, weds…clear night*

Upon today is Day 1 of Presentation of my 1^st module to users, somehow it was aint that bad. So far so good as its first day, pretty basic though.

Till late evening, my day seems getting darker. In sudden, unbalance emotions cover up my soul partial when the coincidence of your appearance through my glance.

Pretty glad that seeing you living happily yet very lovely with your loves ones. Indeed, felt happy for you but don’t why, right at the corner, I feel my heart is kinda heavy. Mood was turned down. Hmmm.. I thinking tooooo much.. Hope I could pull myself out COMPLETELY, as it was HISTORY that will never going to be repeated anymore.

My day was getting even more deep in darkness when I made an intention to call back home. At first intention, I thought of asking and care about them. However, when I speak to my lil sis, she was telling me something but was being stopped. I was dissatisfied, why do they need to stop her from telling me something?

Thus, I pursue her and gotta to know what she is trying to tell me. Sighhh… even such a small girl, knows what I don’t like. How come they don’t know? Heart even felt more aching…

One very simple question;

“If you have a home which you had stayed there since you are a child, you are brought up there and after so long, you gotta to know that your room was taken and you required to pack your things in order to let other ppl could have the room. Lastly, the only place that is reserved for you is A CUPBOARD which packed with your clothes, your privacy stuffs, your lovely books and your everything. That’s the ONLY thing belong to you wholly in the House.

Yes indeed, A Cupboard.

Share with me, HOW DO YOU FEEL???”

Hmm… Just because that I’m away from home for 3 months plus, things change drastically. I could barely imagine such things happened. To judge my status in family and home, I could clearly see it and feeling it.

What is it that meant to be if someone does not even have a room in family house? Does someone still meant to be at home or even coming bak home when there’s no more home?

Stay strong, Vinns…

That’s the ONLY thing that I afford to say

Speechless,

Vinns

d Lost that Rise^^

2011-09-06T16:53:00.005+08:00

*060911, tues..cloudy day*

As usual a daily routine of busy day. Walk around, do some work, and today I shared some of my past with a close colleague which drives me bak the moment I being endured by a special person in my life when I was in my teens life. However, the person walked out from my life about 6 to 7 years ago. Yet I glad that The One did as The One deserve a better life.

Well, as usual go for lunch with bunch of colleagues, with bursting laughter. After lunch, getting back on track to work. In sudden, there’s a call with ‘Blocked’ name. Being suspicious who is that, thinking sure those ppl doing research and this that as it happened before. Maybe is SG market.

Once I picked up, the voice asking am I Yan Ni in Cantonese, the voice was sooooooooo familiar. I knew that its THE ONE but I could not believe it!!! Impossible!!! I was like stunned for few second with any respond and then repeated “are you---??”

The One said, “Which one are you referring too?? Do you really know who am I?”

I said, “Its You, I know…but how come??? How you know my SG number?? How did you get it??? OMG, I could not belief its you!!!...”

The One said,”Ohhh.. you still remember me? How come you still remember??”

I said, “Impossible, that I will forget you as you meant a lot to me since young…”

The word, “unbelievable”.. keeps on playing our an hour conversation. Getting to know each other after lost in touch for 6 plus years was indeed meaningful.

Feeling so relief that The One is indeed happier and having a very much better living that The One deserve compare to previous environment. The Warm concern and talks were totally remarkable, yet could not believe how did The One got my SG number which normally only my colleagues will have it.

Right after the call end, I sat down. My feeling was unstable. Excitement, warm, unbelievable and etc was ALL IN ONE! Someone who meant so so so much to me, which I tot The One will be forever gone and will not appear in my life anymore… and Today, the one blooms~

No words could describe how I feel right now, right this second…So delightful!^^

How I wish that we could be as close as before…

I will be praying for you and your happiness..

You will be always remarkable in my life as you shower my young days with colour…

Always loving you in heart…

Happily,

Vinns

.dOwn.

2011-06-14T23:28:00.003+08:00

*140611, tues...clear night*

Recently, my days filled with excitement and great challenges during work. Gaining meaningful experiences day by day. Although the environment is stress most of the time, yet being a better person.
Working in Singapore, its a great place to grow and being a better team player.

Besides work, recently deep in me, I miss you. Alot... Not only that, feeling gloomy and sad when I'm foreseeing this sat night and sunday, I'll be alone counting down... Just like last year, nothing special as its just going to be a normal day... absolutely normal.

Sadly,

Vinns

New Path of Life

2011-04-23T14:41:00.005+08:00

*230411, sat.. sunny day..*

Actually right now, I have lots of things are reaching my neck and yet, I suddenly thought of that I had blog which I poured out all my feelings and thoughts, sharing updates of me too.

Right now, Im indeed working in a not-so-bad job which undertakes a lot of patients, courages and commitment. It had been nearly a month, kicking off as a permanent employee. Well, working life is always complicated and never easy. Knowing all this ever since I step out to do my event during uni life, and its even more 'special' when Im in it now de.

Maybe as a freshie, walking path is not easy at ALL. When you're right at the bottom, you only need to strive harder and harder in order gain pride in future. Thats what Im reminding myself every single moment when Im puzzled with feelings and stress.

Thank god, social environment aint that bad as there's still humans around and not only have MONSTERsss who trying to take my life. As at now, enjoying the moments we had and shared and thats why I still here even though I was offered other company which I hope to join in so much. I declined it as I keen to like this present job an hope to explore and walk on further with achievement and success when time comes...

May things goes on smoothly and even there's obstacles, hope that there's still a window open for me to breath...

Love,

Vinns

Walks Alone

2010-11-10T03:40:00.003+08:00

101110, wed..dawn.. Right now, its 4.20am, all I doing is You-Tube-ing & listening to musics. My mood is getting gloomy when thinking bak dt only left few days before everything will step in to the different world.

Although being reminded that nothing going to change & remain the same, still, I yet worry and depressing right here...

Strong feeling towards you had fall in real deep. Used to have you around all this while. Having you right by my side to talk, and share. Although ups and downs frequently happen, yet my love towards is true, Crystal clear.

Now, I need to walk alone..

Without your shadow to reach mine. Unable to see you most of the time within 24hours perday.

Speeeechless and being real upset right now.

You would never imagine how bad Im feeling now.

Going to misss you ssooooooooooooo much. So damnnn much. You meant tooo much for me...

How I wish that Im drunk.

Drunk till Very Very Very Very Drunk!

Ease me burden feelings at accumulated since long ago. I believe it would just explode anytime at any moment.

Sadly,

Vinns

Loneliness, That's How Am I

2010-10-22T11:35:00.007+08:00

221010, fri..clear day.. Awake since 10am, walk down to living room. Mind had set to concentrate in studying but yet my heart aint here. Staring at d book for couple of minutes. It seems nothing absorb in my mind & just don't understand what is it talking about.

Am I getting more noob or I don't how to read?? Heart-sick when Im feeling this way. I really wana study but nothing I could understand.

Maybe right inside myself, there's too much things that had tied up. Just a lot. Don't know where and how to end this up. Actually nothing I cud be doing. As everything is out of my control. Well, its foolish & dumb for me to think of it but I just can't resist it.

There's once twice, I did share to some ppl, with some surface prob, I didn't went deep in to share with ppl, well, thats me! Don't like ppl to see the helpless me. As I know that no one would deeply understand my situation and how I'm feeling. Fact is that truly they unable to see wad & how am I de. So, what's the point for me to voice it out? Walk by my own is the safe side for me.

There's only one place which is my heart to keep everything that no one could see. A lot of things, Im doubting myself. Toooo much circumstances that Im going thru.

Studies had compact my mind completely! No way out to breath. Deep in me, I'm seriously darn worry but just remain calm in reality. Pointless for me to be panic or wad, as stupid management from university is changing policy though exam is only few days away!

Right now, my heart felt heavy. Maybe the quota had its limit. Indeed, someone arise in my dailys. Didn't feel soooo much into it of existence since recently. Well, maybe its timing.

Although its not a compulsory for you to acknowledge me anything, indeed makes me felt empty when there's no news from you. Belief it, I was indeed waiting for ur news by time to time.

If only you know...

I guess, I'm being tooo over in this. As this truly did affect my mood. Unexpectedly. When time comes, I start awaits for your news. Just waiting...Being such way by myself is insane. As no other ppl will feel such way as me or maybe other ppl would feel its nothing. Insanity!

I think should actually pull myself away from this tooooo much before I unable to do so & grieve seriously about it....

Lonely,

Vinns

The Return~

2010-10-19T03:39:00.008+08:00

191010, tues.. dawn.. All this while since our arguments and misunderstands, there's a gap between us.

Ever since during school times, strong feelings occur among us. You & I deeply feel it! Those letter-msg, heart sharing & sweets action dt had been done to each other was indeed remarkable! Our times was really sweet but unfortunately, its was too short. As in between, too much obstacles occur that really test our bond. We're just on and off most of the times.

Ups and downs often falls upon me even after schooling. Im not sure about you but it was a hard time to walk thru when all of indirectly actions done by you that truly hurt me. I was there, never leaving you but non-stop being pierced by you & your actions. My heart is weak, indeed helpless. Tears did roll for you tht I told myself that there's no more next time. No more caring & loving such human fren like you as I was just being too foolish whom meant nothing to anyone. Being taken granted of my efforts & love is the greatest impact that could deeply disappoint me & losing my confidence & trust towrds you.

Life walks on, time passes by. Although we often meet up, but we were nEveR as close as be4 after harsh moments that we confronted each other. We just can't able to click each other as how we were during old times. No matter how, we rarely able to talk heart to heart. Well, maybe its my problem as I was hurt too much all this while by you directly or indirectly. Maybe you never know cz you just could not feel and know how serious I was in our relationship+friendship.

Thus, I nvr dare to step in any deeper anymore to protect myself from being hurt.

Anyhow, everything had change since recent moments. Totally a drastic change happening in me as I could feel you are there. Previously wheneva this feeling araise, trust me..I will keep on remind myself to forget bout this cz I don't wana get hurt anymore as it's bad and ugly to walk thru.

But I don't know why, this time, my heart is telling me that its for real. Just have the feeling of right & left hand as we used too be4.

Just speechless. As everything started when I didn't expect at ALL that you still have feelings bout everything now & past...regret dunno wad..if only dunno wad..

Trust me, I was truly stunned when those words were from you as I tot you forget about it ever. Felt touched silently. Since that moment, my perception & feelings towards you indeed different. Night that we spend together with all, deeply in me, I felt the warmness. I feel the old time you is right beside me that really touches my soul.

Honestly, those moments, I did really enjoy the companion.

Hope that its for real and its you. The real you that wun treat me as fool AGAIN and take me for granted AGAIN once you tink I'm not needed anymore. Would not keep me away & ignore me completely when you have ur own life. Or any hiding lies behind me. May you would never once again take away my trust towards you. Don't walk away just like that when you do not need me anymore.

Just don't fool my feelings...

As my trust towards you indeed gaining now...& yet cares d existence of you more... =]

With no judgments & secrets and only sincerity!!

Love,

Vinns

5th Eternity Friendship Day Celebration

2010-10-19T03:20:00.006+08:00

^ma LoveLy Darlings^

~d uS of past 4 yeaRs~

080910, weds..A Great Memorable Night with wonderful & crazy happenings at all time with my lovely darlings rocking at Elcerdo, Jln Sultan Ismail,KL!

Although not all of us able to gather together, yet u're there. We know that you're always there as you can't make it cz u hav a reason behind. No matter wat, we still hope that if possible, all of us cudd b together around to enjoy moments!

Walked along route with them is my most pleasant moment in life. Just being the Real me! With no fake faces or pretending or jz another person!
Definitely a No-No to do that as I'm just being me as who am I actually! Feeling so Free to enjoy with them!

"Ma beloved darlings, Happy Friendship Day 0909!!!
*May our frenship remains remarkable till Eternity! Nevertheless, every single moment since v're one, meant to be sincere between you & me, walking thru paths hand to hand to go thru happiness & sadness together*
Hope that nth such be replaceable our frenship cz I hate to know & feel that nth is being treasured as I deeply cherish ALL of You!! Love u all!!! mmuakzz!!!"♥♥♥

Continously Rock the Night!!
Prezie sharing+Crazy Snapshoots!

With You, we're the STARS of d night! =]

Happily Joyed with Love,

Vinns

The Mysteries of Love

2010-06-26T14:50:00.004+08:00

A dramatic show from Hong Kong recently, The Mysteries of Love...

Entirely its more about a police investigation more based physic theory.. A great physicist, Kingsley who is slow in speaking but yet smart and very killing look( in my opinion la)..haha..attached to Siu Lai(sai lei mui) while Lo Sir who is a playboy with Nickole who was a journalist.. thruout d whole drama, ups downs of each action was great especially talking bout romance!! but undeniable, its abit lame regarding d investigation, nothing special.. juz so-so only...

Well, there's times in past, got ppl say i look like Nickole..hahaha..funny a~ a fat ass like me looks like that pretty babe..hahaha..

One main thing that i would like to stress on is dt, a strong feeling of love felt during d moments of Kingsley & Siu Lai... Wat makes me to have such a deep impression on this drama is that d moment of they broke up at Episode 18.. wow, dt moment was a tradegy!!! My tears jx cant stop at all...as i cud not stop crying tooooo...i jz cud felt d pain... d pain of broken heart...Well, nothing flash out neither past nor present...As it was maybe sum painful heartache in my history dt i felt before... and during recovery & keeps on bumping each other, it was sad tooo... welllll, overall, thumbs up!!!

Everyone shud grab to watch it!! =]

Rating: 9/10

Vinns

Its Break Time!

2010-06-26T13:45:00.003+08:00

260610, sat.. sunny day.. fuhhh~~ finally after exam and all assignment, its time to say Byee-Byee for a moment de..hahaha..sem3 aint easy especially took 2 subjects ...no break at all de..

Recently, my daily routine had went wrong again de.. waking up at 2-4pm, sleeps at 6am-7am.. wow~~ wad a life..

Keep on disturb my roommate when im at bangi..haha... in sban, no one for me to disturb..aikzz.. sighhh... so i wonder, at times, izzit a good thing to have so much of freeee time de...?? hehe

Vinns

Photograpy Passion

2010-05-07T12:44:00.005+08:00

070510, fri..sunny day.. from last weekend till today, wow...tough moment which caused my legz had been breaking de..aikzz..my leg palm is numb and skin are peeling....pain pain la..

Job dt i involved was regarding digital cameras & dslr of Nikon and lenses... Getting to know them more... Well, even tough i was d one who is d least product knowledge... Yet trying to crave for more and more by time to time... Gaining how to handle dt thingy which to seems to be easy if to take a Good picture...

My mission before travelling to overseas, is to have a DSLR.. *i will, i can, & i MUST* ^.^

~LoveLy Devilz~

2010-04-27T23:53:00.009+08:00

270410, tues... cozy day.. finally my exam endz liow.. wow it seems dt i had been ages dint blog liow..(it seems this phrase alwiz appear in my blog de..haha)...actually throughout this period...got so so so so many things happen de....until now also i dunno where to start de... jz feeling very free recently de..hehehe..planning for my future la.....nvm..give me sum time to tink bak den i will update u de..keke...

Anyway, jz wana share my lovely devils de..heee..my babez de!! which i endure dearly....love all of this so damn muchiee o.... all this picz below are Quality Pictures from my lovely reddish Canon Ixus 100IS (except for its image itself is from my hp).... =p

~Casio watch & dzi 10-eye braclet~

Giftz from sumone very special who is sarah..although dt casio now is full wif scratches yet wud be my best preference once i step out from my room de.. she's my lovely fren+roomatie who i care and love lotx..as she had been a great fren, a silent listener and cares lotx of me...so glad dt once i hav this chi mui in my life...not only dt, sumone who is as crazy as me too.. hehe..v love to go for movies most of d times and also enjoy studying in many places to find feel de..haha.. McD in KL and Selangor, i guess v nearly conquer most of it except d old design Mcd de..haha..love to have her around~~!! mmmuakzz!! =]

~Red Canon IXUS 100IS~

All this time, im dying to hav camera as i LOveeeeee camera & taking Piccccturess..weell, wana aim for dslr but dun hav dt budget de..kekeke...Once this dg camera was my dream, i was so despress to own it..and now i had it right by my side...wow~~ feeling so damn pleased!! bring dis lovely babe to redang on May o...hehehe...with my savings thru jobs, feeling its damn worthy!! and im FREAKING BROKE NOW ever since i bought this and mp4!!!!!!!! damn!!!! i need more jobz!!! >.<

~Sony Walkman E Series~

Actually never tot to hav one geh...but ever since started study week, i belief dt having a mp4 is good thing as 1st..which is the main reason i purchase dis is i will hav no reason to bring my laptop out to study if for music purpose...cz i know dt laptop is a neccessity to me, i will die without internet..so if i hav lappy outside when im studying, im sure dt i cant concentrate in my studies at al..and also had been proven and undeniable...2nd...u hav stuck ur ears at anywhere to concentrate in studying, avoid unwanted noise and ONLY pleased wif the great musics playing in ur ears..hehehe... 3rd.. its handy to bring everywhere..and frankly, when i hav this during my studying, it really help alot..its jz better to bring this den lappy which cud really seduce me alot de..hehehe..i truly cant resist d lappy's seductiveness..*LOL*

~HP mini 210~

Awaiting the moment of arrival this netbook aint that long as expected but to me, it seems a long period thou as i cant wait to have it de!! hehe.. never forget that i wun abandon my alphine white
Dell o (cross fingers)!! ehehe..maybe this current period will date more wif this netbook 1st lo...new toilet bowl ma..keke...and *thumbs up* for TM NET!! dint expect dt their progress is so Efficient!!! *claps* ever since my streamyx activation, in 7days, HP mini210 is in my hand d!! at the beginning, wait for 2weeks to find port..its a dumb period to wait due to misunderstanding and bringing me going round and round..but after i sign agreement d, den wait 5days(suppose 7days) for them to install fon..den d next 4 days(suppose 7days) to activate streamyx and de next 7days(suppose 14days) got netbok liow..kekeke...i save lotx lotx time dde..

and on april 23, its d moment i found u, HPmini210..d moment v met & own each other.. =]

*Gigglesss*

Vinns

1st Day in Uni After CNY Holiz

2010-02-22T14:37:00.004+08:00

220210,mon..sunny day..right now is 2.45pm..and my day started to feel dull and boring in room..in sudden, i missed d rustle and hustle moments dt i used to have be4..at least, i got sumthing important to do..Actually, i do hav sumthing to do now, which is study for the MIS exam on 25th Feb..but no mood de...aikz..yet pushing myself thou..hmmm..

Today early morning, my frens and i went for a midnite show at 1 sumthing de..haha..psycho rite?! after done wif appointment, so went for a movie to relax as d saraf-saraf in my mind are all tied-knotted! but yet cant able to enjoy d movie too cz of d complication occur again...sighhhh..Actually, wad m i really into in by now? wads my focus?.. im doubting myself too..hmmm...

Getting to know sumthing...hmmm...sighh...a very different u...i was shocked to see u lik dt...it was like..walau!! wad can i say...well, maybe that is d true u de...good thing also de...seeing u getting along wif ur environment and ur life happily..well, its meant to be! happy for u...may u cud be happily ever after wif ur love ones!

And feeling that things seems bumpy..ur harsh voices actually pierced my heart....hmmmm...u might think is nth...but to me, its aint a small deal! u aint realize how i actually felt...i was actually burning!! hmmmm..but y i swallow it...y...y i din say anything or jz shout bak at u...y i jz din do so??????!!!! hmmmm.... maybe im too playful or wad...but things once again,seems missing among us......i dunno wad to say....jz felt strengthlesss....speechlessss.....mayb this feeling fades away as soon as possible....as deep in me, im looking forward more moments to share wif you......sighhhh...but itz juzzzz.........

Vinns

Choices? Alternatives?

2010-02-21T07:39:00.017+08:00

210210,sun..sunny day...it had been awhile to update myself..though at times, i felt lik blog-ing but jz dun hav the time..well,undeniable now dt, im pretty free..this beginning year..wow..lotx tings jz fall upon me..d 1st day of the year, once again..a tradegy occurred..which is my grandma had leave this world..hmm..is a good thing thou as she had suffered lotx lotx and struggling hard fo years..may she rest in peace...hmmm..

Besides, a good thing to share is dt, my event had jz ended..finally de...its was a marvellous journey...well, will share bout this to all of u later after i got all d pictures updated..hehe.. and guess wad, after since f5,now, im bak to short hair de..a very different look compared to d previous me..hmm.. i cud say it , a completely new me de..well, d moment on 120210, carrefour, A Creative Saloon..i totally hav no doubt dt i need to get this done de..wanted short hair and really hope for a new appearance de..wow, suprisingly, it turned up to a good thingy..got lotx of compliment bout it..hehe..a good thingy too... loving it too...and enjoying it as no need to take toooooo much care of it..hahaha..let me share sum snapshots of me..hehe

^d 2010 Vinns^

Actually, right now, im in deep confusion..mind seems packed lotx of stuff..slept at nearly 2 am,..in suden jz popped up at 7am..dunno y...and jz cant slep bak....thinking that my future days actually...normally ppl around me will say, 'come on,vinns...let it be..dun think so much..when time comes, u will know wad to do and face it...' ...to me, its aint so realistic to actually think of nth bout future de...further more, which path shud i retain? as, things had change..maybe cud be said dt i indeed had changed as d circling and environment had changed too..things dun seems so passionate as be4 as feeling dt it dun worth so much of my efforts..dunno y, im jz feeling this way.... as things seems dt is being conquered and monitored, well..jz let it b...the war was a succeess to them is bcox of their efforts and strategy put in and my failure is cz of i jz dun hav enuff time...so cud this named dt im not as good as them when they hav plenty of time to do it?? well..mayb its a wrong timing for me..which causes me can excel completely!...hmmm..well..its life...first come, first serve..speed is everything de!

Where else,now all im more focus in is my studies de...as im in a very fragile and critical situation ..and I JUST NEED TO MAKE THIS HAPPEN!!! if not, im jz going to be in such a doom de!...so now, jz packing up my stuffs to go bak to ukm...well,frankly, i miss my bed there..hehe.. Once im bak to ukm today, lotx of things awaiting me to be done and reach~~~

And a new war begins...

Vinns

Great Journey

2009-12-14T23:15:00.003+08:00

151209, mon..rainy day...it had been sum quite time since my last blog..anyway, no big deal as not much ppl know this existence of blog.. and let get started here..today cud be consider my 1st day of holiday since my finals ended...had been going thru moments that i shared together wif my pap family..

Nearly the whole month, we gather together..we share together...i belief sum strong bond had built within us..and i bet not all of them either...as ups and downs often occur..all sorrows and anger occur too and yet still seeing all of u struggling to be on the right route and u are on it!

..well, nth much to explain on my side..all your sacrifice and efforts, deeply appreciate it..all of us,know your doings...your heart towards PAP cud been seen so strong..your commitment in ur responsibility cud been so serious,...im so glad to see all this as cud be said its one of my mission....but all this kept in my heart, one fine day, you will get to know the real me..the real face of ur PAP16 KP..as all i can say, wadeva had been done and said was for your own good, for your department, for PAP...no matter what had happen between anyone of us, as i always say, 我们是一家人！belief it, i pinyin myself... =] let us move forward and make PAP16 the best!!

Vinns

Feeling Helpless

2009-10-24T14:38:00.006+08:00

241009, sat..clear day..a week which suppose to be study week but i seems enjoying life so much..going here and there..at 1st, my study mode was lik really heated up!!..but right now, im staring at my book..i tried reading..nth seems going inside my mind de...if this continues, im so gonna fail for this semester...

Undeniable, i juz dun understand why...every single time, i come bak to sban..there's sure sumone or sumthing at sumwhere reminds me bout sumone de..its haunting me again..i dunno y that sumone cud play in my mind so much...its lik, come on, i cudn't even put a damn de...it cud not change anything de...but i remembered a phrase dt i saw from sumwhere saying that ^sumone only able to realize wad's d meaning of 'I Love You'..wad's the importance by now,which sumone didn't notice it previously^
i was lik omg...wad do u mean by dt....all this while during our times is wad to you??!....im so speechless...

Actually, i shud feel happy for sumone..yes indeed..i truly felt glad dt sumone found your own happiness..own life..free from burden...but frankly, deep in me...i noe dt i still need more time and space to totally erase sumone from my mind..my heart...much more time~~ i hate to admit my feelins towards sumone is still existing or wad..but d fact is its not existing anymore but jz those shadows appear most of the time when things seems got related to sumone.. but by now all i can say,i juz hope evrything shall be gone and forever!! hoping wadeva dt related sumone cud vanish!! and hopefully you wud lead a happier and lovely life in future...and i belief you will..you definately will! good for you..

As for me, i wudnt waste my time to focus on sumthing dt is not worthy..as im going on smoothly wif wad i have now..i wudnt demand much more as i noe dt i wud able to get wad i wan if i jz voice it out...though its not 100% fulfilled, at least i know dt you tried your best..not only dt, i know dt you cares for me..but sumthing is still missing...as wad i told you,hoping there's solution within us..maybe after my event next year, hope dt everything cud turn bak as sweet as be4.....as how it begins...truly looking forward towards it..............

=>>really need to study liow...forcing myself to hav d mood..aikkzz >.<

Vinns

Heaven Knows...

2009-10-18T12:24:00.014+08:00

181009, sun..clear day...wake up kinda late as sleeping late cz of wandering thru online...recently toooo many things had been happened in me...my sorrows and stressed up moments are tooo much, cant even speak out by words...let me note here wad is the worst thing happen to me, which is my laptop got stolen due to sum incident on tues,131009...inside my laptop, includes lots of my memories and my assignments which due on fri...on the same day, i was tripped inside d kitchen..and twisted my ankle too...and yet, i able to crave a smile all the time on my face de...thou deep inside me, my heart seems like having lots unspeakable words...lots things to share..but i seems to have NO one who really bothers to sit down beside me and listen to my voice in my bottom heart...maybe sumtimes i hate to let ppl know dt i'm weak, need accompany or wad de..mayb jz one word,i dun like to feel like a loser in others ppl's eyes though i noe there is no such thing as winner or loser but i jz cant de....

And now, i'm suppose to study...but my yest mood haven vanish...listening to d song 'Heaven Knows' by Rick Price... cud totally describe my whole feeling now...no one jz know and understand how i feel deep in me...and, i hate the ignorance from you...why?...i know dt i had a very big mistake..but i'm jz soo sorry dt i cant help it when my past memories flash bak...i wanted it to be gone and forever but wheneva your coldness, ignorance occured towards me, i felt hurt so deeply..its so deep actually..and in sudden, my past memories will jz arise...i hate to compare and i definately not comparing this and dt as nth is worth to compare..u know me, u have me by ur side...but y everything seems getting duller and nth seems important to u anymore...y..? who can i blame...? u or me? i dunno....all i can say, i really love you...no doubt for it at ALL!! i wish to walk forward wif u..longer den v can imagine...

About d past, good for u dt u hav a new life...thou my heart do ache abit wen i got to noe it, wad else can i do..jz hope dt u cud find a better wan den me as wad u desire for....=]

At least, there's sumthing cud make me felt happy recently is my parents bought me a new lappy after my lost!! loving my new alphine white lappy sooo muchhhiiiieee!!! ma new precious since oct14th,09....everything dt had lost cant even to be turning bak..especially all my photos...a total real beginning de..no way to flash bak at all.....anyway,thanks to palia fangfang and sarah for accompany me and help me anaylzing d pro and cons de! hehe..muackz!! ^.^

**mY pRecious**

Love,
Vinns

Night at Genting

2009-08-31T22:47:00.007+08:00

310809,mon..sunny day..whole day was lik kinda studying de..but nth much absorb to my brain.. aikz..that is so sad de! but jz had to try hard as having plan to go out tonight..at 1st, as planned, i will be going out wif frens to mps,seremban..well,where to go out unless there wo..So while studying, have sum great time playing wif my beloved baby sis,joey..superb notty o!!haha...

~cute+superb notty baby joey~

Bout 4sumthing, had a call from yinloo..walau! her suggestion to spend the moment tonight is to go genting immediately and come bak down after syok liow..walau~~ was damn suprised de..obviously cant make it as promised my frens earlier de and summore got finance paper on d next day wo, dah-la very tens de...so had rejcted it..not long later, calls and sum msg from her making me so like wana join her e....making me jelez and so on...so guess wad??i finally cant resist it de!! wad a dan loser,vinns! aikkzz..and i brought my finance notes to study on the way to genting at 7pm de...haha..

Reached genting bout 8 sumthing de,wad a racer man..yinloo can jz reached genting using 1 hour +++..wif camry 2.4 la..hehe...wow~~genting was damn cool and misty man!! freezing lik hell..and i had been sneezing non-stop o...haha..three of us; yoon,yinloo and i were like shivering o...haha...v took a long time to look for parking as that night was crowded wif cars and ppl de...so v follow ppl's bak to track for parking de..guess wad? haha..finally v found a couple de...so yoon stood at the place and v were like reversing the car o..haha..cz only one way de...so yeng o!! haha..

So then, v walked around and went to Mcd to have our dinner...while having our dinner, our eyes were like popping out wen those teenagers around, were dressing lik omg~~~ lik lala man!!!! cant take it de!! den dressing mix and match,makes me burst into laughter o...they dressin themselve lik rojak o~~ahahahhaha...bad me!! haaha..then, went to casino to spend our time de..haha~~ not a totally amazed as i had ben working there for 3 months plus a croupier..so now,jz enjoy being a customer de..haha..v were like searching everywhere for the smallest minimum bet and at last,v found 'tai sai'..hehe..maybe luck is not much in my hand,so lost bout 50++...next time, will try better luck o!! hahaha..i will b bak..hehe

~fantastic firework display~

Time nearly strike 12am, so v went outside to countdown for Malaysia 52nd Indpedence Day while find for weilee and karyan de..and i was so glad i'm at genting cz is d only place got firework display as i got to noe from my fren dt whole malaysia is not going to have firework display o~~ haha..and i cud tel dt, the firework was like damn nice!!!!!!! enjoying so much...at dt moment,my mind was like playing lotx of things...memories did flash bak bt jz a lil while,..d most important also hoping dt sumone will be here wif me...aikz...looking forward tht v willl hav that time in future... so after dat, took sum pics and went for a drink awhile to avoid traffic jam..kinda tired de...and worry bout finance de... den bout 1sumthing am, v begin our journey to seremban,...along the way, i was admiring the scenary of kl...one word: MARVELLOUS!...it was jz so great...how i wish at the moment, i cud hav my love ones beside me,enjoying such a romantic moment...aikz...jz thinking too much...

~enjoyable moments~

Anyway, i had a great celebration wif dis great frens!! was an amazing nite!!! Neva regret at all...hehe..so once i reached home,...had a great night sleep..a sweet one thou.. =)

Vinns

A Strike of Glimpse

2009-08-30T03:20:00.008+08:00

300809,sun..expecting a great day..now its in middle of night about 3.30am..juz cant really sleep...mayb on bed too early...cant help it as I'm very tired....physically and mentally...and still need to prepare myself for finance paper,an exam on tues..nth seems stored in my mind as i'm really not interested wif numbers at all though i tried so much...nvm..i just have to keep on trying after this...

Before i sleep jz now, frankly, my mind and heart felt kinda down de..1st of all obviously worry bout palia finance...besides, bout family de,related to sum relatives..sumthing happen de...something unpleasant..sigh...its fate..a person can be blessed wif happy life,healthy life or drought life..its all in God's hand...not only dat, sumthing good news dt i wana share dt, i got a lovely gold necklace from my dad and aunt as my bbdae prezie..frankly, its very thoughful of them...neva expect dt from them as d situation is lik dt now..though its kinda late,its okay, i love it my dear!!!mmuaakkzz!! jz cant express my appreciation and happiness to them..haha..well, parents ma..how wo..haha.....and in sudden, sumone appear in my mind...jz had a feeling of missing sumone...mayb not directly missing de...thought bout it..jz sumthing strike my mind again...sighh..sum assumption dt i made by myself bout sumone,actually its nth...those pm meant bout sumone daily life stuffs thingy...walau~~wad i care...but its really a misunderstand...however, it meant nth to me anymore...not putting a damn on it thou...

Just wana share that, i had a wonderful & exciting week this week....suprises and too much satisfaction de..haha..
-240809,mon,went to mid-valley at last minute jz to walk walk awhile and got myself a red top..a simple one..haha..had sushi king for dinner at 9.15pm...wwow~~it was great!! i was darn full de~~enjoy my meal so much as i love japanese food so muchie o...and thanks for the treat,roommate..hehe

-250809,tues..since lotx of frens talking about jogoya offer and its gonna end so soon,..well, as i say japanese food is my fav, i cant help it and wanted to go so much!! and guess wad, i had a blasting nite at jogoya!!!haha...i get to eat all i wan..haha..gosh, if this continues, i'm so like gaining weight o~~!!!need to control too o..haha..jz enjoyin the evry bit of sashimi,fresh oysters,seafoods,coconut,haagen-daz and so on~~walau!! cool...and i went home wif a total full-packed storage tummy o!!hahahahaha..i'm so gonna save from today onwards..kenot simply use money so much o~~haha

~Sinful foods~ =p

-260809,weds..preparing myself for a war,a marketing paper on the thurs...working very hard on it so dint go anywhere..having my fav instant noodle,har mee as dinner...and i'm burning midnite oil and ended up dint slep on dt nite..a effort day..ehehe

-270809,thurs..attended 8am morning class, tot got quiz den dun hav already o...haha..its a good news anyway..ahaha..was kinda tired and exausted..yet still in good condition geh..haha..den did a lil studying at ptsl be4 d exam...but ended most of the time,gossiping wif my great and helpful chimui,wanling...haha..so jz manage it get a glimpse of the notes only o...haha...overall, the paper was okay de..but jz dunno how to do sum ques, so i jz shoot alot de..ended up the last person to hand up de paper..haha..palia me...and once i get home, slept liow lo den went for meeting at night..den come bak,sleep again..a plesant night of sleep.. =)

-280809,fri..bz wif meetings and dealing wif sum stuffy..once done...guess wad?? haha..went out mid-valley again o...wif wanling..aikz..jz need to keep my words wif her orelse i'm so gonna hav a droughtful moment being said by her..haha..i told myself..i'm not gonna spend much on dt day...i jz need to get sumthing only..not gonna to use much money as i need to save save o...and the evil devil wanling keeps on trying to seduce me to buy clothes wif her...gosh~~!! it was very difficult to resist thou...in d end, i lost..haha...i ended up getting myself another two tops from pdi...walau~~~~ thank you so much my dear evil devil suipo wanling!!! hmpphh...!! anyway, love the tops too o~~!!!

~us in checker box tops..~

So, it was a great week i had...and expecting that today wil end up great too as i love to c fireworks de...looking forward for tonight...but on this day, reminds me alot of my past de...v had sum great memories here...hmm...anyway,its past...jz memories left..i'm trying hard to cope up without much of the past memories...anyway, i'm getting better thou...a good thingy...hmm..enjoying my life now..and hoping he cud lead a happy life too o!!!! =]
Cant wait for tonight o~~haha..hope dt i wun end up wif any disappointment o..haha..k den,bloggy...denn to continue my studying or sleeping o..hahaha..nitez...[^.^]

"Hapy 52nd Independance Day in advance, Malaysia!!!"

Vinns

PAP16 Launching Ceremony @ DAM,UKM

2009-08-23T19:36:00.011+08:00

Yb Tuan Wee Jeck Seng as our Perasmi..Reading out our scroll,Part of our Perasmian

A great happening night on 190809,weds organized by PAP16..a beginning for PAP16a remarkable night for me, thanks to PAP16 exco!! your commitment, i deeply felt it.. and to others, your support for that night means alot to PAP16..PAP16 will brings out more suprising and miracle for everyone..
Hoping for you and everyone, your continuous support will shine PAP not only in ukm but also whole malaysia, as making PAP16 as a grand brand in Malaysia..its my mission.. =]

walau...neva forget the session of my speech...haha..thanks to my lovely roommate,sarah...spending time though its late nite..accompany me with my speech..although I know that, my speech on that nite was a so-so..at least i tried...all feedback, i will keep in mind and will improve it as I hope i could give all of you a goosebump in future...ahahaha...

Anyway,juz wana voice out my gratitude to my team..all your efforts make a worth on that night..though nothing is perfect, as mistake and accident will occur...its okay,as this is our 1st event...all of you had made a good job... as long as v learned our mistakes and gain new experiences, i belief...all of us could made up a better art of work in future~~!! thank you so much..gambateh,PAP16!!

You are the BEST!! [^.^]

News of PAP16 TuiJieLi: http://search.sinchew-i.com/node/391295?k=é»ƒæ—¥å

Vinns

A Long Lost Family Day

2009-08-23T18:57:00.006+08:00

230809,sun..sunny day..woke up at 12.30pm..kinda late huh?..haha..aikz..jz so tired de..den look around the hz for food..finally, end up wif instant noodle too..aikz..bout 2pm,aunt ask me to join a 'family outing'..and guess wad? walao~~went out wif aunt,dad,akak,relatives and a bunch of small kids to FEED FISHES and TURTLES..swt~~seems so harmonic man..walau~~ looking at those small kids, lik so innocent..running here and there...this kinda situation was long lost for ages ago...good for this bunch of small kids!! at least their growing times was healthy and filled wif warm happiness unlike me,was a growing route dt no one wish to go on...

Later bout 4sumthing, join looloo and yoon for a tea break at old town,jusco s2..having a great time to gossip around..laughing out loud..so relief...cz had been tens for so many days..coming bak to hometown, its a moment to let go myself de...overall, its a kinda relaxing day for me after so long..and going for a movie at mbo, Orphan..kinda excited de.. =)

Last night,its kinda psycho too de...purposely follow baobao's sis with zhulee go kajang eat satay...walau~~ really yeng o~~along the journey, talked bak about each other past..aikz..realizing dt, all guys juz have the same reason to juz end up a relationship..and all guys will just gonna be damn sweet..willing to sacrifice everything to fulfill their lovers needs ..but once no more love in them to their lover, they cud jz become very cruel...very mean...and become a person who you dun even seems to noe them...with a glimpse,they cud jz become a brand new person.. this is wad guys will do..this is how love meant to them...aikz...a creature which I doubt..a creature that I truly cud hardly trust anymore...

Vinns

Be Careful..

2009-08-22T19:49:00.003+08:00

220809,sat..rainy day..on such a cozy weather today, the best thing to do is curl up myself with blanket and have a comfy sleep..too bad as I was juz bak at my hometown arnd 4sumthing though started to take off at 3pm from ukm,bangi..aikz...it was a terrible traffic as 2 accidents occur on the same ole federal highway..anyway, its the month of 7 in Chinese Calender, so be aware when you are on road..its to be alert is the best...
take good care my frens.. =]

Vinns

i love my life..i love my present...~~no doubt!

2009-08-03T02:09:00.006+08:00

020809,sun..sunny day..recently,i'm quite enjoying my life...scheluded wif meetings, appointments,classes and not to forget,entertainment and movies~~!! "study hard, work harder and play the hardest!!"haha..enjoying the moments of bz life..though frustation coming non-stop,well its part of challenges in life de...still able to take it...

actually,sumthing seems playing in my mind for this few days bak...sumthing dt i wana get rid of it...sumthing dt i dun wana remember at all...sumthing dt i wana wash it away from my memories de..gosh..!!!i tot dt i had get over it long ago de....i tot dt i had let it down de...and seriously,its jz haunting me!! i hate this feeling....its start dragging my routine lifes as it had happen be4 long long ago...wheneva i'm alone or felt down after quarrelling, sumthing jz wil flash bak in my mind automaticly!!! there's no turning bak.....as things NEVER gonna attach together anymore~~!! its d end of us in d past till forever as v dun meant for each other as how u ever said be4...............no more,its d end...~~!!!

y....y...y.......i truly hate myself being in dis situation de....i keep questioning myself de...y..y its shadow appearing again...stop it...plz..let me go...wad i want now is my present...i'm happy wif my present...though ups and downs often happen and even misunderstanding & arguement often occur..well,its meant to be in order to hav a smooth and happy yet to understand more bout each other...

at times, i start to doubt dt the closest person around me dun seems to understand me well....wadeva at wheneva i try to voice out my sadness and frustation, i felt i'm such a fool as i dun feel dt i'm cared or wad...i even felt more stress at times..i felt dt i'm actually criticizing myself..i'm trying to make myself not worth even a single cent....diz causes me feeling even more down......i dunno who to go to as i noe dt i only loves you...only you.....
all this while, i tot when i'm lost...i alwiz have you around to hold me on to go through......but your shadow seems fading so much...its not dt i cant reach yours but i'm feeling dt you dun seems wana reach mine at all de....our perceptions in many ways seems so negative....not magnetic at all de...and belief it, v can even start a fire in each other heart when v are talking about someone else...!! v can even nearly argue cz of sum ppl dt dun worth at all!!! i felt so damn frustrated!!!! oh gosh~~!!! but,i try to swallow it.....trying to swallow my anger...my harsh words...i muz learn to control...i muz learn to 'lose'....i muz learn to be patient...cz i neva wana my past incident to repeat evr again in my life!!nightmare!!!...so i need....need badly to bao yung.....in order to have a stable wan....cz i am serious in my present....very serious.....hmmm...so no matter wad it takes, its worthy as i noe you are doing the same most of the times....may v cud be unstoppable...

no matter wad,i never ever doubt my love for u....as i noe its for real....nth can replace u....as for the past shadow, i truly hope dt it can stop haunting me immediately.... as i need no one else in my life,i only need you...........only one and d only you.............

Vinns

^nth seems important to anyone anymore...^

2009-07-20T21:39:00.004+08:00

200709,mon..clear day...i'm tired...especially mentally condamn...hmm...recently many things happened..its just like roller coaster,speeding up and down...it just dun seems to end...
academic,i really need to put a damn great effort in it in order to survive..but at times, sumthing is just keep stopping me from me achieving it de...though i paused a lil while, i stil keep moving de...at times, i felt tired...but when i tink about wad i desire in d nenxt few years time, i just need to emerge to succeed!!! my good sec,wanling is keep reminding me to attend class..loving her so much de...haha..i also got a good laoshi,palia lim aiteing who gives me support de..hehe..thank you so much...i will work it out this sem!!!
personally,lik i say...i'm tired de...hmm...i dunno what to do anymore de....wen u're down, when i call u to try brighting up your mood,u say no need..continue your work.... but when i dun do anything, you say i'm not making any effort...sighhh...tell me...wad shud i do de...teach me...guide me....maybe recently u're tired cz not enuff sleep or wad...but i jz feel dt evrything dont seems to right now...jz everything............i jz cud not feel d sweetness and passion of you anymore...belief me,deep in my heart,...its tearing apart...bleeding silently....without your knowing......................

Vinns

its time to be bak on my own^^

2009-07-13T02:04:00.003+08:00

130709,sun..clear day...finally i had a complete day rest after being bz and time being packed wif occasion and meetings de...within just a day,lot things happen de...i start doubting myself,am i on the right route de...hmm...matters and problems dt buried beneath my heart had been even voiced out...but you just tink it isnt a problem at all de...hmmm...
theres a gap...i dunno how to describe that gap de...d closeness and sweetness dt i cant feel it deeply already de..when i'm angry, u dun make much efforts to make me happy...izzit because we are toooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo close or near...is everything bored now??? you start to know me more...understand me more....but i jz feel sumthing is missing...sorry for being so demandfull all this while...all myfault...i shud not hav been this way....am i too pick point on u?? hmmm...mayb this had causes u stress and felt being tight only wif me...it seems dt u dun lik it..........i noe i noe dt i seems counting on u toooo much de.....i noe its not right anymore...
from now onwards, i will be bak myself de....i dun wana burden you anymore...i dun wana u to tink dt i'm just making use of you...i'm not de..i will not demand anymore....i'm too selfish...rarely consider how u feel all dis while especially on pleasing my way..i'm wrong...i'm sorry...deeply sorry....i will set u free..as bird..do wadeva you want.....
i'm out of words...i try making efforts to make it colourful...but it seems dt hearts are not being attached properly..its not there anymore......just not anymore............ =[

Vinns

ma 21st celebration... [^.^]

2009-06-20T19:01:00.012+08:00

180609,thurs..sunny day, early morning..need to go market buy ingrediants for steamboat o..walau, it lik had been ages since the last time i went there de..haha..nvm lo...for myself sake o,if not,during nite got nth to eat o..haha..went wif my kakak,baby joey and sarah o...sarah had been such a helpful fren indeed..hehe..muakzz!! haha...den bought lotx of things den go to d next round, jusco..get sum drinks and aunty sarah helped me with sum groceries(interesting pic in my fb o!!)..haha..

Till nite, is the moment I hav been waiting for...in short, all of us had a great time de...and got two notty ppl who dint bey our theme of d nite which is meisan aka tortoise and meiwen aka loupozai...haha...and pity meisan being teased by yinloo and so as zhu lee de...haha..kena bully o..haha...every single moment, screaming..laughters..teasing..were jz making d nite more happening and enjoyable...after ate till bloated,its time for mahjong-ing de..hehe...and wehn clock ticks sharp at 12am,birthday song sang by my dearest with d the cake in front of me...lovely yet touching o..hehe...lastly, it was opening prezie time..hehe...best part o..hehe...suprisingly, i tot this year, will getting not much prezie..but d fact, its even more den i expected de...hehe..and i got lots of stuffs that i wanted so much..thanks,darling...at 1st i expecting dt i will get shoe de from my gang de cz i suspect dt zhulee making calls to my roommate as my roommate knows ...but when they pass me their prezie to put aside, i looked at d wrappers and thinking, "eh, i tot shoe got shoe box wan ak..how cum dun hav d wan de..aikz..."..at dt moment, got abit lik disappointed lo cz expected too high cz i felt dt hints is soooo strong de..(sarah is a palia liar o..)haha..though its shoe anot, i will love it wadeva my darlings giv me de..mmuakz...and unexpected,i got a laptop bag o~~~walau..speechles leh..even more speechless when opening d prezie from zhu lee and others,walau~~gold colour punya nike shoes leh...so touched man~~and a msg of big card wif wishes de...thanks lil bro..that night was realy realy great de....and notty darlings,u forget to take bak red eggs o~~i remember that o~~notty notty...

190609,fri..sunny day..lets begin from d moment after my celebrationin my hz, i went a&w o..for 2nd round...nth much..jz sit around and chitchat..in sudden i was blast wif a bunch of dark red roses...walau~~thank god that around got not much ppl de..it was indeed very suprising and touched by my fren's efforts de...loving it so so much de and listen here, its only d beginning de...den at noon, on the way bak to bangi,i was suprised wif a gift,a lovely namecard holder..all my noty frens planning...hehe..so sweet~~sooner at 2sumthing pm, went to sunway pyramid....go gaigai ..den hav lunch at kimgary...while, i was having my meal...in sudden again,a not bad looking waiter approach me and pass me flowers saying that its from my boyfren..i was lik huh~~bf? and asked him, are u sure..??and he nodded...and i start to tink,mayb its my frens..in sudden dissappear at the same time..~~wow!!i can tell that d moment, my face red red liow lo...shyshy la...so many ppl leh~~walau...hak sei me o!!!if continue lik dis a,sure got high blood pressure de...sooner, when they are bak at their place,let me mumble lik hell o...but deeply in heart, appreciating d every single efforts that are trying to make my day more meaingful!!thank you so so muchie...mmmuakz!!! they even try explain wana hav take2 cz in a&w not enuff ppl..and in kimgary enuff ppl to make my face lik tomato~~so 'sweet 'of them..arghhh!!!!x guna punya budak..hehe.. after lunch, go walk walk around wif dt flower summore...like poser only, omg^^aikz..wad to do,bbdae gal is lik dt wan o...wait till their bbdae,they will noe..hmph!! after that,next round is to pavillion...cz i say dt i wana buy a handbag de..but went in to so many shops also cant find it de..aikz....den they decided to go pavillion to fulfill my wish o,....den reach liow,one of my fren ask me go take sumthing from d boot of the car..guess wad? found another box of prezie...i was shaking it hard in front of them asking izzit for me de...and they are lik, "dun shake so hard a..its fragile.." haha...i dint noe dt..hehe..and once i open the wrapper,it was red parker pens de...wow~~so lovely and sweet..i only afford to say lovely and sweet cz its just toooooo lovely and sweet de...dint expect dt at all de...hehe..after dt, went pavillion walk walk to find d bag from mng andvincci de..dun hav liow even till sgwang o..aikz...so down man..until go bak pavillion,got one last 1 de,but its white de....sigh...kenot leh,i'm a very clumsy fellow leh..how can wo...aikz..den i say dun wan lo...den tink tink after persuadation..buy lo...saying dt i big gal liow,muz learn to be more kful and polite o..hehe..imagine dat man...kakakaka...till late nite liow bot 10sumthing,went bak my hz at bangi..guess wad? my lovely roommate say wana cook dinner for me wo..hahahaha...so touched man!!!kakaka..spagetti summore goes wif white wine wif a cosy environment de...haha..great de..hehe...though thru appearance,it had fail but fact is it tastes great o!! but i guess, i can cook better o~~kakaka..anyway,thanks alot alot de..love u so so muchieo!!!mmmmmuakz~~...during that dinner, i was suprised by a last gifts from my lovely frens..aiks..send my palia roommate as representative de..haha..its a perfume de...walau~~so happy o...my fav de...hehe...and d next morning, i was served wif a great breakfast de...thanks roommate....for being so so sweet de.....never expect all this from$ u and others de.......jz cud be so speechles for so many times within a day de...and d last moment of nite, was bz talking while having sips of white wine de..and hav a pleasant nite sleep with my heart smiling and felt wif happiness....warm happiness to hav such great humans around me....mmmmmmuaaakkzz!!

**darlings,thank you for everything..gifts..efforts...u're the best i ever had....felt so so lucky to meet ya life,....never wana ask for more as i had wad the greatest gift on earth..which is you............felt so thankful and sweet...heart truly melts...thanks dear who arranging so many suprises for me...all of u,my precious treasure......this year 2009,my 1st time ever in my21st birthday making me felt i'm so so special and had craved a memorable moment in my heart...a day dt i never forget...da day i found being so loved and cherished....a remarkable and special day....love u sooo muchie!!! words jz cant describe how much you...all of you.. meant to me.....lastly,thank you so so so much!!!!mmmuakzzz!!!!***

Lots of Love

Vinns

being a fool..treated like a fool...

2009-06-05T12:48:00.005+08:00

050609,fri..sunny day..right now, freaking free online at jusco s2 after meeting with sum dealers...actually just passing by time to await for fren to finish work de...surfing the net and watching movie is the best thing to do but kinda sleepy now cz last nite bz wif FB de..haha...
yest was a bad day for me de...lotx things occur...sigh..sumtime i wonder, am i doing the right thing??..as in, making out plans & suprises..but sum1 seems not to bother much...making me feeling and looking so foolish de...just like fool preparing and arranging this and that ,no one giving a damn...walau...i was so hurt....though i noe no matter how much i give in, i should not demand anything in return...i noe..i noe..i dint expect anything,i really dont but just dun make me feel that sum1 dont even bother to loook at it de...sigh...this causes me feel lik stopping there and dont wana continue wasting my time...aikz...but its juz a instant feeling..sure mm xie tuck wan de...so last nite,everything was like give and take...forgiven de..wad to do wen my love for you is even deeper more than anything...so now, yet still wif plans and hoping you willbe pleasant with my deeds and efforts....

another chapter of my life that causes me a terrible heartache is the closest to person in my life ever since I'm born...this circle is a circle that i often refuse to bother much but their words seems like a sharp spear that could able to cause my heart bleed even though its just verbally...i just dont understand why they cant stand on my situatiion and think of it...why they only know how to asy i'm not good at dis dat..i'm stupid at dis dat....i'm stubborn at dis dat..its out of my control!! eg,if i got offer job at kl,obviously i'm accept it,its money man!! dun tell me dt, they expect me to sit at home and wait for money to fall down izzit??!! damn...accussing me dt i'm doing nth and only noe how to waste money..saying i'm uselss...but in front of me, saying i'm dis good dat good...walau~~!! wad kinda human is dis??!!!! i tot they hav a changed perception on me when i'm showed and give and take wif them....and now, they are playing words wif me...trying to be traitors!!!! i dint expect this to happen in dis circle...anymore....though it used to happen be4....am i not good enough huh??!!! am i not tolerating enough??!!just dont make me as a fool..as ur puppet..i'm not more in your control!!! if u dare, say it in front of me and not behind me....dun force me doing this dt i'm not suppose to treat you...dun test my patients...just wait till i'm done with studies....and u're saying those words dat accusing me dis and dat....you will c...i hate to feel dis way....so i juz neva put a heart to dis circle..i rather to live on my own...survivng on my own.......

Vinns

confusion mind...

2009-05-29T03:30:00.003+08:00

290509,0330 Hour...hmm...recently my days and nites are packed wif meetings and settling my personal task...but nth seems to turn up...especially sum tasks in my hand...hmm...i dunno where to start..wad to start.....and my heart felt heavy in sudden wen i'm playing sum kinda emotional songs...aikz...making me flashing bak lotx things dt i aint suppose to think bout it now....hmm...plz let me get rid of it...i had enuff of those........i really do...yet i guess mayb recently ppl around me alwiz reminding me bout those.......sigh....i jz wana get rid of it and wana treasure wads in front of me.....i jz love things around me now...neva wana hav any changes...i really do...God, bless me strength to go on wif stronger heart to cherish every second of my precious moment wif wad i deeply into it......sigh.....

Vinns

**ma nEw "dairy"...

2009-05-21T17:23:00.001+08:00

today,210509..a cloudy day...spending my time relaxing on bed de...bt my mind neva hav d chance to rest at all de...sigh...cant really slep well recently de...too much problem occur de....though in personally or tasks de....sigh....cracking my head...aikz...so in sudden surfing here and there...i remembered sumthing bout blogspot de...so jz open a blog for me to release my sigh de....having alot things by my own...need to remain to be secrective...having no choice at times...jz need to do so in order to come out wif sumthing which is mayb unexpected, great, lousy...aikz...who noes....sumhow,sumwhere, i'm still able to struggle wif it..will be bak soon to bloggy...hehe..=)

Vinns

**^mA Lifetime Journey...^**

Happy 2012! VS is BACK! =]

Lonely Christmas 2011

Gray-Scaled Days...

Dull Films

what's in me~

Passing By, Going Through...On my own

Emo Surroundings conquereD~

D Greatest Lost in Life... :(

My Biggie Day, My Convocation^^

'Empty' Home

d Lost that Rise^^

.dOwn.

New Path of Life

Walks Alone

Loneliness, That's How Am I

The Return~

*5th Eternity Friendship Day Celebration*

The Mysteries of Love

Its Break Time!

Photograpy Passion

~LoveLy Devilz~

1st Day in Uni After CNY Holiz

Choices? Alternatives?

Great Journey

Feeling Helpless

Heaven Knows...

Night at Genting

A Strike of Glimpse

PAP16 Launching Ceremony @ DAM,UKM

A Long Lost Family Day

Be Careful..

i love my life..i love my present...~~no doubt!

^nth seems important to anyone anymore...^

its time to be bak on my own^^

**ma 21st celebration...** [^.^]

being a fool..treated like a fool...

confusion mind...

**ma nEw "dairy"...

^mA Lifetime Journey...^

5th Eternity Friendship Day Celebration

ma 21st celebration... [^.^]